February does this to me every year.  It takes my plans, shoves them in a vat of peanut butter and then invites every outdoor animal to knaw on it with their freaky squirelly teeth.  I should expect it.  I never do…but I should.  But next year that will not happen because I have scheduled an e-mail to be sent to me next January.  Here it is…

Cass-

Hey there.  Yeah, you sent yourself an e-mail you can either consider this brilliant or crazy but it’s all you and you’re probably nodding right now.  So its the end of January and February is in just a couple days and you seem to struggle with this and I think it’s because you have a generally optimistic outlook on things but let me tell you.  STOP.  February is going to fuck with you.  It always does.  I suggest you do the following RIGHT NOW before February.

1. Buy three emergency bottles of white wine.  Stick them in the bottom of the fridge.  Label them EMERGENCY.  You’ll need them.  Just trust me on this.

2. Take vitamins, Emergency, Drink Tea, Stay Hydrated, seek a medicine man, go to a sweat lodge do whatever you can to avoid the plague and the malaise.

3. Order yourself flowers to be delivered at the end of the month…daffodils or something awesome.  By the time the end of the month comes you’ll never remember you ordered them yourself because that’s what February does to you.  Write on the card “For you.  You’ve almost made it.  I think you can make it to March.”

4. Buy some good smelly candles – your dog is holding (if you can believe it given the amount she is still shedding) more fur and she starts to smell doggy.

5. Make an appointment March 1st to get a pedicure….it will make you believe that spring will actually come.  It might not come.  But whats important is that you believe that it could.  March 1 is your GOAL.

6. Concede that there will be at least six  full days spent in pajamas (12 if you count the days you sleep in your yoga pants and shirt and just keep them on).  This is not failure in february.  This is called winning…but only in the month of February.  March you should get dressed.

7. Buy four bags of M&M’s and stick them in the tire changing area of your car.  There will be a lot of days that you will want to get them out…and on most days it will be too much effort.  But on the days that you really need them they will be there for you and worth every bit of annoyance at getting to them.

8. Accept pasta for the gift that it is and don’t fret about things like SHORTS and DRESSES.  The reality is you have months….don’t forget to get your prescriptions refilled.

9. Don’t plan on anything.  Don’t plan a trip of any variety because the anxiety you will have about the weather will negate any positive effect the vacation type activity could have on you.

10. Make a sign and put it on the door counting down to March.

Cass, I know I say this a lot but YOU got this.  You can totally make it through February.  It is just winter after all  - it’s been happening for a really long time.

Holler!