How do you have time to do it all? Do you sleep? I want to know EXACTLY how you’re doing all of this.
Today, I’m going to answer that question…
I do not do it all.
There are lots of things I don’t do. Some of those things I feel good about (like curbing my tv addiction) and some of them not so good about (regular workouts….not so much). There was an aha moment for me a few years ago when I was a single Mom with a two cats and a dog and a two year old: you can not do it all right now. You physically can not. And that’s okay. This is just not the season for certain things – and hopefully, if you want them to happen at some point in the future, there WILL be a season for them. It’s just not now. You can get over it now and enjoy what IS on the table – or you can waste time fretting.
Waste time sometimes.
Sometimes I don’t feel like doing anything. So I don’t. I know that sounds simple and it is. It would be easy to punish myself and force myself to do something…but I’d hate it and then I’d be seeking a reward that is NOT in line with the task. For example if I want to be doing nothing but I force myself to empty the dishwasher (I loathe this task) and then load it up again I will want to treat myself with about 5 reeces peanut butter eggs. This is not good for me.
Bullet Journal – 4-life.
Unaware of what a Bullet Journal is? Check out this intro. Want amazing resources and hear more about how one of my favorite people loves her Bullet Journal – go visit Kim at Zoot.com and tell her I said she’s freaking amazing. I like paper – I love pens – I ADORE lists (they are my favorite thing in the entire world) and the Bullet Journal makes sure that I have everything that I need in one simple moleskine notebook.
I prepare for the week and put everything (literally everything) that I need to remember on each day’s page (I do a slight variation with 2 pages per day because I need lots of room for notes from meetings).
It doesn’t matter what your system is though – as long as it’s working for you. My friend Kristin abhors lists…she likes the list maker in me and I respect the heck out of the fact that she remembers to do anything! The point is: it’s not about the list or the bullet journal it’s about finding the way that you are accountable to what must get done.
Delegate. And then let people do it their way.
The reality is people like to help. You have to let them. Appreciate how they do what they do. Be grateful. And be mindful about what you’re asking of others. Lessons I’ve learned in delegating:
- If you ask someone to do something and then you do it yourself you hurt their feelings. The message you’re sending is I couldn’t rely on you to do this. Your intention is likely more like: I didn’t want to bother you. But that’s just not how it feels.
- Don’t delegate things you’re crazy particular about. I like to fold my own laundry. I like how I do it. I like the repetition of the task. And I like the victory of all the socks matching. To delegate this would be to set someone up for failure.
- Don’t micro-manage. When you delegate the objective is to get something done. There are a million different ways to do something. I tried to micromanage Lexi’s fancy folding of the napkins. This hurt her feelings and really it mattered so little. People are going to do things their own way. Let them. Maybe the heart shape napkins will make you smile!
Question: I was thinking of doing a little tour of my Bullet Journal. Would this interest you? You let me know and I’ll make it happen.
The other day Lex asked me if she could have a snack about 3 minutes after she had declared that she was STUFFED from lunch. This is a very normal occurrence in our house. Normally my answer is: I’m happy to let you finish your lunch – until then, sorry lady not happening. And then she said: “I don’t even know why I asked!”
I stopped mid-bite. Something had to be said. Right that second. And a million times over for the rest of her life.
You ask for what you want. That is AMAZING. Do that. Always always always DO that. Because the worst thing that can happen is someone will say No or nothing at all. And while no is not the best thing in the world:
There’s no room for Yes if you don’t accept the risk of No.
Ask for the seat at the table. Ask for the food that you want. Ask for the raise. Ask for the life you want. Ask for friendship. Ask for what you need. Go after what you want. Ask.
There are way too many little girls in this world that can not ask. They don’t live in places where Asking is allowed for them. Ask FOR them too.
Sometimes people think that power is held in our answers. But I don’t believe that’s true. I think power is held in our questions. I’m going to say that again for Lex because girl needs repitition.
The power is in our questions.
So ask. Do it today.
And in that spirit: I ask you to share The Subtraction Project….
It’s not too late to join us for our April 1st start day! Subscribe below. And if you’ve already done this can I ask that you share it with just one person (okay, go ahead share it with three) and invite them to be a part of this with you. It’s like you’re tapping your seat at that lunch table. It feels good to be invited.
Did the Subtraction Project bring you here? Are you new? Welcome! You should know before we begin this lustful post about the glories that can be achieved in a single spring season that I live in Rochester, NY which is currently expecting a foot of snow on March 29th. I will not be deterred though as I am committed to having the best Spring of my entire life. How, you ask? Here it is….
- I’m going to follow my winter lesson learned about dressing for the seasons. What does this mean? It means I’m going to pull out the rain boots so my feet aren’t wet, I’m keeping an umbrella both in the car and my bag, I’m buying a rain coat that I’m happy to put on (here are my top two contenders – do you have one you adore? tell me. Please!)
- Set my intentions – which for me means creating the Spring To-Do List. I’m working on this over the course of this week. Want to do your own and share it? Check out the Pinterest board of inspiration I’ve been collecting!
- I’m letting the Spring Cleaning bug hit me when it does. This is SO not how I’ve done this in the past. In the past: I’ve created a massive list of everything that I wanted to and there was no real realization until the list was done (long live the list). The thing is it was forced. There was no joy in it. So this year it’s all about going with the feeling. I am just TRUSTING in a warm enough day to hit us pretty soon that drives me to open all the windows and pumping up the music and cleaning non-stop. Want to know what playlist I’m shaking it to? Here ya go on Spotify.
- Buy a plant. Watching something grow. Nurturing it. Watering it as appropriate. It feels hopeful. Hope is good. Make it an herb and you’ll enjoy a little fresh basil or chives on your salad it makes all the difference.
- Go outside. Equip yourself as appropriate and be outside without a screen in your hand or pocket. Hear birds. Watch dogs run. Plant your feet – stretch your arms out – point face towards sun and exhale. You will love it. I promise you.
Of course I think that The Subtraction Project will also help with making Spring awesome. So sign on up for that if you haven’t already!